How to cope after a breakup?

How do you cope with the loss of a great relationship after a mutual breakup?How to cope after a breakup?
In the same way you cope with grief as when someone you love dies. Its more or less the same thing. No matter how mutual the break up, you have to understand that your feelings are feelings of sorrow at the loss of the expectations you both once had of each other.





If you can be amicable that makes things easier, but you will go through a sadness just as we do when someone we love dies. Try and stay occupied, allow feelings of sadness to hit you when they do, and allow feelings of wanting life to become better when they come, just go with feelings as they happen. Like grief, in time the feelings will lessen and you will start getting on with your life. But right now you have to go through a mourning period.





Try to stay busy, perhaps join an evening class doing something that you would enjoy, and get out with friends or at least around their house for a coffee and a natter. The pain will pass, you will both recover for as you say it was a mutual agreement.





Good LuckHow to cope after a breakup?
That is the hardest question to answer on this planet. How to cope with the loss of a loved one. There is no answer to that question. You either grieve, rejoice, or simply take an indifferent attitude towards the breakup, but you do not ';cope';.





Trying to cope is what makes the healing process to be delayed. You need closure with yourself and if you did love that person, you are entitled to grieve, hurt and cry. If you are happy he is gone, then you should celebrate and go paint the town red; some people think they have to wait certain time before start ';going out'; after a brake up. If you are up to going out, should be done the same day.





In your case, I know what you are going through. Getting over a break up with someone you dearly loved is heart breaking and one word from a friend, like us, could act as an aspirin to your headache but the root of the pain will still be there until it heals by itself.





I know the times when I fought my break ups, trying to ';cope';, I would go out with my friends only to be the long face of the crowd, only to listen to the music that reminded me of him, only to listen to others asking about him. You need to be healed before doing that or it will set you back and that is why I say that trying to cope will only delay healing.





Just hold on tight, its not an easy ride, but learn to become stronger and wiser in the process and the safe arrival will be guaranteed, I promise.
One might wonder if the relationship was all that ';great'; if you broke up. Even if it is mutual, it can be very hard. Is it over for good? Is it for the best? Did you think about your decision before you broke up? I know you are asking. Hey ';Im the one asking the question here.'; If you think it's over for good and for the best you need to take time for YOU. Be good to yourself. Maybe you've neglected family or friends lately. Make the rounds and check on them. Maybe begin a new hobby or get back to old hobbies.Expand your horizons. Good luck.
It can be very hard. I broke up with the guy I wanted to marry about two months ago. Honestly, as hard as it was, it gets better. At this point, with all of the problems we had, I'm glad it's over. I'm feeling better and I'm happy that I can put the grief behind me.





What worked for me was the no contact rule. I had to cut him off-- no facebook, twitter, myspace, msn, etc. That also means no seeing eachother, calling, texting, email. Nothing. You have to cut yourself off so that you can move on. If there is any way that this is possible in your life circumstances, it will make it easier to cope with the loss. You need an opportunity to move on, and that's much harder to do if you're constantly interacting with an ex.
One of the commonest causes of divorce and litigation is PERSONALITY DISORDER.





Just ONE of the partners may be a PD. It is a MYTH that it takes Two people to go for litigation.





10% of the general population and 70% of jail inmates have one of the ten known types of PERSONALITY DISORDER!





I request all to read about PERSONALITY DISORDERS from the website : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personality鈥?/a> We are MOSTLY dealing with mental health disorders!





You can download from this link http://www.mentalhealthshop.org/products鈥?/a> http://deltabravo.net/custody/disorders.鈥?/a>





Probably the most prevalent personality disorder in family court is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Also common is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) more often seen in men.





Try to find out what type of PD your ex-wife is -use the help of wikipedia.com for this. Counsellors may not tell you, because of inherent difficulties in identifying PDs and because of living in denial, that women can be a PD!





HOW WILL THIS KNOWLEDGE HELP YOU?





Remember that a Personality Disorder will try to negotiate and deal with you, feeling her chances of manipulating and intimidating you are better than her chances of manipulating your lawyer or the court system. For this reason, refer all her comments and questions to your lawyer'.





Be prepared for a variety of strategies that will change quickly until she finds one that works. She may use apologies, pleas, intimidations, threats, guilt, faked disorders/ailments, accusations, etc. As a Personality Disorder, her only goal is to bend the situation to her benefit. A common strategy used by PDs is to attempt negotiations and meetings outside the court setting, those I m sure we can work this out at meetings. Those are always intimidation-oriented meetings. Never agree to them. If your lawyer appears uninformed regarding personality disorders, you might ask for a consultation with another lawyer or a mental health professional.





Personality Disorders have a sense of narcissistic pride that is threatened in a court situation. For this reason, they feel entitled to punish you, even after the court situation is over. Be cautious with any post-court deals where she will help in the future (share child expenses, agreements to pay for something, etc.), as those deals actually offer her an opportunity to torment you for years in the future.http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Impossi鈥?/a>





Judges, lawyers, and family court counselors need to be trained in identifying personality disorders and how to treat them. Mostly, a corrective on-going relationship is needed -- preferably with a counselor. However, they usually must be ordered into this because their belief systems include a life-time of denial and avoidance of self-reflection.





IF THIS KNOWLEDGE HAS BEEN USEFUL TO YOU, PLEASE SPREAD IT!


OTHERWISE, PLEASE IGNORE IT!
well,i guess i am not the only one!after 16 yrs, of a common law relationship,i am separated from the man i love,reason, a lot of discussions,men think that we women are stupid,and at least i am not one of those.let me tell you it has not been easy to cope with such a loss,it,s very hard,it hurts deeply,has cost me many,many,many,tears because i love him,many lost nights not being able to sleep,but i told god my pain,my sorrow,and i've learn to leave this situation in his hands,i was humiliated,he laughed at me,he kicked me out of his home,after 7 yrs,but god is seeing his behavior,what he did to me,and know what? i feel sorry for him,there is a saying here in my country,';don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you';.so he's going to get it worse.i have learned to leave everyhing in god's hands,he' the only one who knows what's best for me.life keeps going and so do we,there will be someone better,pray a lot to god,ask him for strenght and guidance.good luck.
You have to say to yourself that it just wasn't meant to be and you were not right for each other. If someone doesn't like you then f*ck them and there are so many more people out there. You will find someone who you are meant to be with. Just follow your heart. God bless.
drink heavily
Try the special K diet