HELP..I am going through a breakup with children involved how can I make sure their intrests are taken into...

I am 27 and am going through a long term breakup..12 years and 2 children and their father decided that he is not happy he wants to be alone..he doesn't know what he wants..He moved out 4 weeks ago. And sees the children one day a week...He is late to pick them up and drop them off?? He doesn't call or stop by. He has them now and I don't know where they are at?? My children are 1 and 2. So they can't fend for themselves nor can they tell me where they have been!!! Their father is making me a nervous wreck. How can I cope with this? What strategy should I use..I thing there is another woman in the picture??? HELP before I do something drastic..HELP..I am going through a breakup with children involved how can I make sure their intrests are taken into...
first you need to honestly ask yourself this question. Does the father love his children? And no matter where he might take them during the time he has them, will he take good care of them? If the answer is yes to both of these questions then don't worry too much about it. He'll take care of them. If he asks to come see them and have them for a few hours let him. Enjoy the time you have for your self and be happy for the kids that they get to see their dad and don't make a big deal of it as long as he takes care of them. Don't nag him and just ask him about what time he expects to be back with them so you can be home. Right now he is only taking the kids one day a week because of their ages, so you need to work it out before they get older and he possibly has them overnight or for a few days. Kids are very resiliant and will adjust as long as you make it a good thing they get to see their dad not a bad thing. Always say you get to go see dad not you have to go see dad. I promise your kids will be better adjusted if you do this. If he calls to talk to them on the phone let him, dont ask him anything personalabout what he is doing it will only make him mad and he will only be more spitefull and unwilling to talk about the kids. About the possibilty of another woman? Think of it this way. Why do you really want to be with a man who doesnt love you any more or want to be with you any more? It will only make you misserable in the end. Let it go and move on and take this time to find someone who will really love you the way they should and who will treat you the way you should be treated. I promise if you do this it will be easier to move on and not hold any grudges. Hanging on to the anger and pain will only make you unhappy. Don't do anything about the other woman, just let it go it doesn't matter. Just concentrate on making this transition peaceful for yourself and for the kids because in the long run that's who its about. I have been through this and my kids love their dad and love spending time with him and I'm excited about them getting to spend time with him and during the time they are gone I enjoy the time to myself to get things done or just enjoy the quiet. If you keep the kids away from their dad out of spite you are hurting the kids and yourself. since you will be a single mom you will need the time for your self while he has them, never deny him time with the kids just enjoy. I've been through this and I know what your going through. I promise it gets better and you can get through it. Please keep this advise in mind IT WORKS!!!HELP..I am going through a breakup with children involved how can I make sure their intrests are taken into...
First I want to say that it is to your advantage that the children are 1 and 2. At this age, they do not know what hurt is ~ like they would if they were 11 and 12. By law, you can not keep your husband from seeing the children, even if he was to withhold child support, so the best thing you can do is focus on letting him go. If your husband has shown signs of being irresponsible in the past or has endangered the three of you at any time then you could ask for supervised visitation. Keep your children busy, remind them that you love them and will always be there for them and with time they will adjust fine. As far as another woman, don't beat yourself up over this.....whatever reason he chose to leave was because he was not happy and was not man enough to sit down and discuss the situation with you. Good luck, you can do it ~ I know, I was a single mom.
Do something really nice for him, if he wants to be alone, there might have been something that you were doing that bothered him that he should have talked to you about long ago. He seems like a nervous wreck, maybe you should check him into the mental hospital.


Also, Children need their father to be in their lives, fixing this problem is in their best interest.
I personaly think that you should not let him see his children because if he wants to be alone than why is he keeping them? But then again I can understand that they are his but still I think that they are safer with you !!
Is the visitation set up by the courts or is it something that you both decided on? Sometimes you need to get the courts involved. It's not saying that they are going to really do anything right this minute but in the long run if you document everything, times and days he's pick and dropping them off, then it will help. Also as the children get a little older you can have a court appointed liasion which will act in the best interest of the children and take into account how they feel about there father. There is no easy way of doing this, but try and work it out without alot of conflicts is the only thing you can try to do for the kids. It's not going to work out over night but try and talk with him and maybe you can figure something out. Watch for behavior changes in your children too. They may not be able to tell you whats going on but they will show if something is bothering them. If something bad is going on sleep patterns can change or they can start lashing out even that young. If these things happen then I would definately get to court and see about supervised visitation.