How do I deal with a long-term relationship, breakup? It's KILLING ME!?

Just come out of a 4 year relationship, because she didn't want to continue because she has lost that ';feeling for me';. When I go to bed, I can't sleep.. I just toss n' turn and have bad dreams and wake up even more upset.





She now says that she is now unhappy in the relationship and... wants out.. She wanted me to be more romantic,spontaneous.. But I didn't know how to show it, or if she was being serious..





I don't know what to do, we use to be best-friends since school...





I can't imagine her dating, and doing ';STUFF'; with another person, it's really upsetting me thinking of this and I don't want to let go of her :(.





We have always had talks and dreams about moving in together, having pets and everything...





It's her birthday party on the 20th, should I still go ? (Meal with all of her friends, and my friends - mutual ). She also said it would be Awkward... :(..





Help....





She said -





I cant help the way i feel... i dint want to lie to you and fake my feelings just so you will be happy... i want to be happy too and feel the same... but if i cant then what else can i do...things got to much for me and i couldn't cope... i'll never be able to forget how our relationship was at the beginning and all the times we argued and you lost your temper.. i can forgive.. but not forget... and that just all caught up.. i mean i use to burst into tears when you just shouted even when it wasn't at me... that's how scared i was i know your hurt... and i know you miss me... and im sorry that's all i can say... i just dont wanna lie to you and myself by faking and forcing the way i feel... cuz it will and did make me unhappy i really am sorry...





I really wasn't that bad.. I did have a little bit of anger management during my teen years, but it is ok now.





I cherished, loved,cared did almost everything for her.. Why is she doing this, and how can it be changed back!





I see her almost everywhere, College and Work and on the internet (MSN) just looking at her name/pictures really does make me feel upset and remorseful of what happend... I really love her.





Another thing is that I get on with her whole family, I don't want change :(..How do I deal with a long-term relationship, breakup? It's KILLING ME!?
If your still best friends now then you wouldn't be so stressed out because you'd be BEST-MATES but not lovers because thats not what she wants right? you'd do anything for her right?How do I deal with a long-term relationship, breakup? It's KILLING ME!?
i'm sorry u gg through this, i can feel ur heart pain, this pain i used to suffer b4 2 mths ago.





i just as u, cannot do much.





the only advice i can give u is ....u just gotta move on.





time will heal , how long, we do not know.





if u love her,let her go. mayb the timing nw isn't just right,





if she meant to return, she's yours!





take good care of urself!