Guys, how do you really feel after a breakup if you (really) loved your girlfriend ?

My ex and I broke up over a month ago and I have been perplexed by his behaviors. In the end, when I was still around him daily, he would act as if he was not affected by the breakup, would laugh and cut up with his guy buddies-just seemed emotionless. He even seemed as if he were trying to push me away at times.





Then, he would also have moments when he said he wanted to work things out, would seem depressed, would tell me he loves me and even said he was willing to go to counseling, kick his bad habits, whatever it took to keep me in his life. The next day-back to being distant and mean again.





I would love to believe that the things he told me throughout our relationship were true, and he really seemed to mean it-he did do nice things for me that showed me his love. He said he had never felt as loved by anyone, that he had never loved anyone as much as me, I was an angel who had literally saved him etc... He was getting plenty of good sex and I wasn't going anywhere so why would he need to say these things if he didn't mean it.





So, in summation, he had bad habits that were not conducive to a healthy relationship: alcohol, pot, porn and lies, but I stayed because I also saw a man who really wanted to be different but just couldn't. I had also developed trust issues towards him that did make him feel pressured, but he had lied to me many times and it's hard to trust someone who lies to you.





I guess what I want to know from you men is what do you really feel after a breakup ? Do men grieve or do they really just move on-replace their b/f with a quick rebound and casual sex and call it good ? He still emails me long emails saying he still loves me with all his heart, yet he has done nothing to try and get me back or even wants to see me ? He seems like an emotional roller coaster and really seems to be heartbroken by his emails. So why has he avoided me and acts nervous when we have been briefly around each other ?





Please don't give me cruel answers like men just move on to the next piece of ...*. I'm already heartbroken enough. However, if that's how men cope-is it really fulfilling, do you really love the rebound person or is she a band aid for your broken heart ?





Thanks guys-sorry my question is a little long-I just wanted to lay out a clear picture.Guys, how do you really feel after a breakup if you (really) loved your girlfriend ?
Oh, don't worry about it being long, it's no trouble. But to answer your question, I think guys have a different way of coping, but it's essentially the same for guys and girls. For men though, it's a lot more internalized than for women. We're not ';supposed'; to be emotional or show to much grief for losing someone we loved, so no one really sees that.





For example. When I broke up with my girlfriend, I partied that night with my buddies and we joked about how awesome it was that I got rid of her and hallelujah I was free, and all that stuff. But what none of them know was that right before the party I was crying for a good 10 or 15 minutes, because that was really hard for me to do and I missed her so much, even right after. But I composed myself, and went out and pretended I didn't care.





See, I think with women, they're much more expressive, especially to friends, so they rely on them to be a shoulder to cry on, rather than doing it alone in a room away from everyone. And no, it doesn't get better after random sex or anything like that. Guys still miss that girl for a while and just like anything else, it takes time to get over it.





So I think that relates to your confusion with your ex-boyfriend because it seems like he'll show one emotion here and then be different in another context. I really think that's just the typical guy trying to not show too much emotion or be too open. He's probably facing things and feeling things he never has before, so he's confused on how to act, what to say, and maybe he's questioning what he's feeling.





I would say just give him time to get his head straight. He's just trying to figure out how to play this one, and he's confused is all.





I hope that gave you some insight that you were hoping for.


Have a great day.Guys, how do you really feel after a breakup if you (really) loved your girlfriend ?
i would feel almost depressed
we feel hurt just like women. We are just to proud to admit it





SteveC
hi :)





i am going through a breakup as well. we broke a 3 years old relationship. we loved each other alot. as from my experience. it is very difficult for me to get over the breakup. i laugh at work place i talk just normal. but that doesnt mean that i got my heart healed. even i know i have no future with her (because of different background, country, culture and religion ) i just can not let her go. it kills me when i think of she being with another guy. she liked everything about me, except for being possessive. i have stoped contacting her, i know i cant forget her if shes around me, and this friendship stuff never works for most the guys. she might be thinking that i dont care about her. i dont think about her only when i am sleeping :) so even if your boyfriend act like keeping distance or whatever, he still loves you alot