How do you cope with the lost of someone you love?

Me and my ex lost touch of each other once the breakup was officia. I didn't break up with him because I didn't love him. I always have loved him he just never knew and now I have to live with that regret for the rest of my life. We broke up because my ex friend was ni the middle of all this. And I believe that he made that known to her beacuse she did tell me that they had argued but she refused to tell me what he had said. She left me under the impression that it had something to do with me. They never spoke againg after that and a while later he passed. I hate the wat I'm feeling right now I want this pain in my heart to go away, how can I feel better? I wonder why she won't tell me the truth about how he died? I she wrong or is ther something more to it. He died on 2/14 how am I supposed to react to that I found out when I went to visit his grave it was the worst feeling in the world help I need advice. I don't know how he passed I hope that it's all just a coincidence.How do you cope with the lost of someone you love?
I wrote this poem a long time ago and after reading your question I thought that it might touch your heart and give you the strength to move on. I hope you like it.





I'm In heaven





Last night I had a dream.


A dream of angels and beautiful things.


In this dream I died.


I looked down and saw the tears you cried.





Don't worry I'm in heaven,


the angels brought me here.


This is the joy that I've been given.


Yet it's brought you only tears.





I weep as I see you,


how your love for me never died.


I see now what was true,


we had a love we had to deny.





As you kneel down and cup your hands,


you pray that I be safe.


You pray that I be in God's land,


with his hope and faith.





But don't worry I'm in Heaven.


The angels brought me here.


This is the joy that I've been given,


so wipe away those tears.





I can look into the future


and see you by my side.


My love for you was always true.


I'll see you when you die.How do you cope with the lost of someone you love?
There is alot more to this. Could the ';friend'; have been involved in his death somehow? I would go to the friend and demand answers--you have a right to know.


God can ease your pain dear. Talk to Him, and the go see your clergymen or a councilor. Do not try to do this alone. I am praying for you.
You just give yourself time. I hate the word personality, but honestly its the only thing you can do. Time will heal all. Don't push yourself to move foward. It becomes harder to deal with the problem. Good luck and take care of yourself.
all you can do is try to find out how he died fr.


someone else or the obituaries in the news paper(the


library sometimes has this info), but that still won't


change how you feel


it takes time to cope w/ loosing a loved one, just


remember all the good times you had %26amp; in time the


pain will lessen


so sorry to hear about the loss, take care
Time... thats the only solution.





But don't confuse that with time heals all wounds... remember, a scar is a scar.





The best thing to do is learn from this experience... be true to your heart....





and don't feel like it had anything to do with you, you cannot control the actions of others, and no one can control life or death.
HOW to cope with the loss of a love --





superbooks ANSWERS:





Ahhh...what a lot of people don't realize --because they are never taught this in school --is that probably before we reach the age of twenty we will have suffered from the loss of many loves.





Those loves could include pets, parents, friends, teachers and more, but we definitely will have those losses.





So being prepared or knowing that these things WILL happen, is one way of coping. If we know this will happen, then we are not nearly as shocked when they finally happen to us.





BOOKS help us cope. Lots of people turn to alcohol or drugs to cope with loss but the real strong ones, the survivors turn to their faith in God, and to their books and to other things are not negative addictions in our lives.





So, with your loss, turn to books. If you are sad, and feeling lonely , go to the library and ask thelibrarian for suggestions for good reading to help cope with your loss.





Go to the larger bookstores and get to the SELF HELP or Psychoilogy section and you are almost guaranteed to find at least five books that will help you through your loss.





Here is a website or lilst of books that will help. Check this out.





http://www.vet.cornell.edu/public/petlos鈥?/a>





A book can make the difference in your life after the loss of a love.





Ask your friends what they did when they had losses and then chose those same actions which you know will benefit your life and make your life better and more wholesome.





Another way of coping with a loss is by HELPING others through their loss.


WHen we speak with others and try to help others with their losses, we generally say good positive things to them, and our own brains and minds HEAR those things that we say to others and we benefit directly from our own conversations with other people who have suffered losses.





MEETINGS Help people get over their losses. Get in touch with HOSPICE if your loved one had hospice. They have free meeting s for survivors and families.





Lots of people don't realize that sufereing the loss of a pet can be as painful as losing a person TO some individuals. So don't discount your loss or your sorrow if your loss is a pet. Get help for that too. You will be sad, you will be hurt and you will feel depresesed even if the loss was the loss of a pet.





So, the first step in helping getting over a loss is





RECOGNIZING THE LOSS





Second ...research and get HELP for the loneliness and depression whether it is minor or lasting.





THIRD BE conscious of your experience. DO not drug it away or drink it away because this is a false temporary help and these choices make the rest of our lives unbearable after losses.





Yes, one drink is fine, and one over the counter sleeping pill on a diffferent occasion is fine -(ASK YOUR DOCTOR's ADVICE) ..but abusing alcohol or abusing drugs just because you suffered a loss is a loser's way to go.





SO,





Stay sober, stay healhty





TALK with people.





Take a mini-vacation away from the ordinary . Go out with friends you've not seen in a while.





PRAY, yes, pray, Prayer changes things and prayers do help. EVEN when it seems like your prayers are unanswered KNOW that God hears you and know that God loves you .so HANG IN THERE!!!





and be cool..





and you will be just fine.





Other resources that you have available. Call the operator for the suicide hotline or any other hotline just dial O for operator and ask for what you need.





FOR IMMEDIATE EMergencies: call the police or 911 ....pronto.





Hope all this has helped you .





Peace.
The key to coping with the loss of a loved one is to be prepared in advance for the event. If all parents would teach their children this one simple fact, ';All people we know will leave us sooner or later for one reason or another.'; If we know this going into any relationship, then we dont focus on the pain of losing someone, we instead focus on the happiness we have in the memories of the time you had with each relationship regardless of type. Your particular circumstance is gnawing on you because of the guilt you have for the way this particular relationship ended and because you have unanswered questions regarding how he died. It should be a matter of public record and you can probably go to the courthouse to find those answers. As to what was said in your friends conversation with him, I think your looking for something he said which will let you know he loved you too. Well of course he did. Just because your paths took different directions doesnt mean you were ever forgotten. Im sure you both had some memories of very good times together. Focus on those and dont pick up unnecessary baggage which could actully cause you to become ill and thereby unintentionally ignore or neglect those loved ones who still would benefit from your love. Life is unfair. Period. Remember him as you were. Not as how ehings ended up. Blessed Be.
As you get older you will care less about what other people say and do, Just follow you own heart.


Dealing with death is not easy. I know I have had my share of it. But people die. I make sure everyone that is in my life now knows that I love them.
Go to a counselor.
Wow. its pretty tough situation. I dont know what to say, i know its to difficult, but i think the only thing to do is to let all those emotions that's been bothering you now. talk to someone that is close to you and letr it all out. also visiting his grave and talking o him well help ease the pain a little and stop blamingf ypurself for what happen.
Through out the letter, its your guilty feeling that is expressed!! A person realises the value of another not while he is living but when he passes away!! Your ex-friend would have caused all conflicts but it was after your separation!!


More than the death of your ex-hubby, its something else that creates this guilt.No not the secretive words your Hus told her!!! Were you unfaithful to him? Did he ditch you anytime?


By speaking out, you get relieved of your tensions!! Find a good person, open out everything, weep if you want, curse the fate if you feel so...do whatever you feel like and you will find relief to your guilt. If you are a Christian, go to the vicar and confess, go to his grave and confess again!! It should help!!
Cut all ties with your ex-friend, never speak to them again. Don't pick up the phone, don't argue with them just ignore the fact that they exist. You will be a happier person.





Think of the good things





Remember he is with you now





Remember that you can't go back and change anything so dwelling on the past won't change a thing





I always tell myself that they would't want me to spend my days dwelling on the past, they would want me to live my life and move forward, so I do.





Time will help

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