If you look within your explanation I think you will find your answer. When you said that the ';reasons'; would make it impossible for you to get back together. I would focus on that as your main point if you are reeling over and over again the relationship like a movie.
Which I have a feeling you are doing, you can't help it it's human nature. Three years is a long time, he was a big part of your life.
Try to fill your days and nights with many things to do, say that you haven't had a chance to do in a long time. Like go out with your friends, party, visit people you haven't seen in a long time.
Get some reading or research done that you have always wanted to do but just kept putting it off. Even start a new project that will give you a sense of accomplishment.
Most importantly take time for ';YOU'; and spoil yourself a little bit, you deserve it!
It sounds like you need to get away for a little while, I think that would help with being able to cope with the place you both lived. That's hard to look at right now so if you can take a short vacation if even just to stay at a friends or relatives house not far away.
If you can't do that then immediately start to redecorate in your own style and tastes so that everything surrounding you is totally ';YOU'; it doesn't have to cost allot to do,
Good luck, time will eventually heal your broken heart. How do you get through the first couple days of a devastating breakup?
Hello, I would just like to say thanks for all the great advice, and suprisingly enough, we have decided to stay together. I am very glad, and so is he, and we are going to work together to put away old issues. My Mom passed away on Sunday, and he's been wonderful. Thanks again everyone.
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It's completely normal to be going through the grieving process of a lost relationship. Cry all that you need to. I would recommend getting together with a girlfriend who will let you lean on her shoulder and will make you go out with her. If you're sure that you could not reconcile, then allow yourself to heal, do things that make you happy, become interested in new hobbies, hang out with friends that you may not have had the time before. Life will go on and the pain will slowly fade away.
Must of been another girl, for one day. It takes a long time, once it goes to the back of your thoughts, it will get better. Time heals everything. You need to get around people or a support group.
I lived with a man for 27yrs, went our- ways 3yrs ago. But we're still
friends, and do things together. Believe it shopping, up north, talk
several times a day. I tried dating always found a lemon, drugs, violence, big lies. I'm 50yrs old tired of games
Life is to short, go to the gym, bingo, church dances, anything to brake
that memento in Your heart. Try visiting human society. Something
else to love, that needs love. Projects, beads, puzzles. the park.
Poor Thing. I know how hard it is.
Focus on the reason you broke up with him. There had to be a reason, right? Watch comedies, talk to friends, and if all else fails, go to the doctor. When my marriage came to an end I went to the doctor and they gave me some sleeping and nerve pills for the first month and it helped so much!! And they also refered me to a shrink to talk my feelings out.
go out one day with your friends just for fun! go to the mall, get your nails done, go see a movie, do anything that always cheers you up. i have had that feeling before. it's not good. and do not call him. do not get in touch with him. i know it's very very hard to deal with. but trust me, as time goes on, you are going to say ';why did i even go out with that guy?'; do something that always cheers you up, like i said before. feel better!
First couple days are bad... then the next weeks are better, kind of numbing, then almost a month i'm back to like the first couple days... x.x That's just me anyway... And I know it will be like this for months T_T Keep busy, try to think to yourself if it's meant to be it will all work out, or maybe you're better off now and think about his bad points? Whatever works for you
P.S. Avoid any alcohol o.o
I dont know how much help this will be but everything happens 4 a reason whatever the reason was 4 u to ask him to leave u felt in ur heart he was wrong and u need to fallow ur heart. ur all ya got :) (this was stupid on my part but i felt the same way about all the stuff around me so i just left it all n bought new lol like i said not real smart but it helped me good luck hope i helped some
Surround yourself with family and friends...keep your mind occupied...this will help but unfortunately the only thing that heals is time.
Stay calm, slow down your heart, and don't be disappointed. Take a rest for 10-20 minutes, and take 5 deep breaths.
get a life, don't recycle pain,it is what it is
I don't always drink beer but when i do, I prefer Dos Equis.
Listen, the advice that I give you is the only one you should listen to. I'm being serious. The reason for that is because people often tell me I'm the most logical and reasonable person they've ever met (in most important situations I think with my head rather than with my heart, which might or might not always be the best thing) and because I've been through the exact same thing as you have.
So, the story is I was with my boyfriend for three years and then we broke up for good because I found out he was cheating on me, and that's the one thing that I told myself I'd never let someone get away with (because I've forgiven him many other things in the past). I will kind of tell you how I got through it.
At first I started panicking because I honestly couldn't see myself being without him. I didn't even know who I was without him. The thought of us never being together made me nauseous. I thought I'd feel miserable for the rest of my life. Boy was I wrong.
People who are in love often don't understand that breaking up and ';heartbreak'; really aren't as bad as everyone makes it seem. Well, I take that back, they are exactly like that and even worse, but only for the first few months. People don't understand that our bodies have a biological defense mechanism which helps us deal with emotional distress. I mean, mothers lose their sons and daughters and they're able to live their life and move on. And because it is so hard the first couple of months people usually give up on themselves. You just really have to be patient, and positive. It sounds like a cliche but it IS a cliche because it's true and it works! You'll be sad, you won't be in the mood to do anything, or go out or hang out with friends or go to work but you have to make yourself do it. Being occupied with other things helps. Soon it'll start getting easier I PROMISE. In a little while it'll just start getting easier and easier. Try to find yourself a new crush. Not necessarily a rebound but just like a grade school crush to keep your mind occupied haha. :) You'll still think about him every day but the manner in which you think about him will change. You won't get sad anymore and you'll realize that you have moved on. A year and a half later I am completely fine, and I've been that way some five months after we broke up. Now, I don't even want to talk to him anymore. Sometimes he'll send me a message telling me he misses me and it won't even get a reaction out of me. It's such an amazing feeling to be liberated from that dependency.
Anyway, I hope this helps (it should!).
Hang in there!!!
you will get thru it. cry if you want. don't hold back on your emotions. but DON';T call him drunk at 3am and tell him that you love him :) take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time. prety soon you will see, it will hurt less and less by each passing day. go out with friends, keep yourself busy. it's hard, i've been there! Seems to me you feel it was the right thing to do, and that is a good step in the right direction. you knew it was going to hurt, but you did it anyway. sign of a strong person! You will make it through, and don't let anyone tell you that you should get over it. You get over it in your OWN time. Good luck to you.
I am only 15 but a couple months back I had the worst brake up I have ever had [I鈥檝e had a lot] I was with my ex boyfriend for 7 months then he turned around and said he didn't love me anymore, this was in the six weeks holidays, me and my ex spent day in day out together and sadly I lost my best mate because she hates him but once he broke up with me I fell apart I鈥檇 forever read his letters I held onto his stuff until I knew I had to give it back I even skipped a little bit of school [bad parenting much?] but then one of my mates came round to see how I was and she saw how I was and forced me out of my house of course I hated her but I realised the world didn't stop because he stopped loving me. Sad as it was to lose him I moved on all you have to do it keep telling yourself its going to be okay. I understand about the whole wherever you look you get upset for about the first week of the brake up I couldn't look at my mates because my mates were his mates [my mates first] I couldn't look at my parents because they got on soo much. So its gonna be hard and its gonna be the hardest thing you'll prob do but just keep saying its okay i can see this through keeping you'll self busy always helps as well and getting out with mates and having a laugh.
First of all, I am so sorry you are going through this. I know the pain you are feeling and sometimes you feel like it feels worse than if someone were to cut your arm off without drugs. lol All teasing aside, it sucks. It's going to suck for a while unfortunately, but time will heal your broken heart. I promise. It may seem like all you can do right now is cry and be sad, but you will start to come out of this. Try to keep yourself busy (but not by going out drinking, which will just make you even more depressed!!), join a club or a gym, go to church if you do that, hang out with friends and watch movies. Volunteer for your local community organizations. Or find something you love that you can take your aggressions out on--I started taking Tae Kwon Do lessons and I loved it! It kept me busy, kept me in shape, and I had something to work towards/to practice on.
Hang in there...it WILL get better.
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