Friday, August 20, 2010

Was it right to get physical with someone when am still going through a breakup?

My ex dumped me a month back and he would be married to his girl next month. Officially, its over b/w us.. I am still coping up from it, I still miss him terribly, I cry, am depressed, I wait for his call.. I know I have to come over this soon and am not able to handle it..





Now, just two days back, I met a guy that is married, has a perfect marriage. He heard my story and I was so comfortable talking to him that we went for a coffee.. Today, I fell sick, had to go to the hospital, I just msgd this guy that I am not well and he picked me up to the hospital, waited for me there, and was dropping me back home. When we were driving back, I got this sexual urge and somehow we ended up with it. He felt guilty, I did not.. Rather I felt that I have taken revenge on my ex who dumped me and revenge on myself being fooled for 3 long years by my ex.... I dont really know why I did this.. I know it isnt a normal thing to do. U still love your ex, u miss him, u meet someone and have sex.. I think what I did was very slutty.. I did say goodbye to the married guy cz I dont really want to harm his married life at any cost, he was good to me..





How do I convince myself that I am not a slut.. that it happens with some ppl............ and how do I forget my ex who has hurt me so deeply?? Today, when I was in pain, when I called him, he didnt have the courtesy to even ask me how am doing..Was it right to get physical with someone when am still going through a breakup?
no i wouldn't consider you a slut. i would say weak and vulnerable at the moment. dont call him...dont do anything that reminds you of him. find constructive ways to get over him rather than sleep with people. hang out with your friends, take up a hobby..something. the more and longer you contact this guy and try to see him or talk to him, the longer it will take before you get over him and move on! good luckWas it right to get physical with someone when am still going through a breakup?
get over it. sorry, people move on. i know how you feel, it sucks but you have to move on. and id adivise you not to sleep with married people. bad karma

Why do i feel like this ? please help - heartbreak after breakup?

hey. so im 17.


fell hard for a guy for the first time. i know it all sounds corny like in books but yeah im sure loads of you have been there, i didnt fall in love, but i could of done, i liked him that much.


never feelt like it


but


we ended the other day.





i was close to a guy before him, who for 3 years weve been friends now but more before i was with this guy.





now weve split up





nothing feels right. my mind keeps flicking back to him, thoughts about him, every single day. i miss him. its nothing too bad at first it was bloody awful. but not im coping.





why does it feel like


i cant feel right with any other guy without him popping up


i lost my virginity to him


i cant imagine sleeping with any other guy, even the one i thought i would lose it to.


close to him 2 years before that, didnt lose it to him.. yet a month in i did with my ex. he seemed right. i didnt even think about it, and i have nor regrets at all. but i imagine me sleepin with another guy


but my ex popping back to mind,,


i reaaally liked him, hence why i let him go





but





is this usual? dont tell me its normal we all go through it. any detailed ways of telling me please :// ?


will this pass? i dont think i was in love. but i never realised how much i know about him, how blind i was, till now.. or is that the process of falling? cause i dont feel in so much pain i need him , i just feel attached still.


will this get easier?


we were so close, yet only spent once twice a week together, for up to 27hours at a time.. he was 20 im 17.. hmm. please help








MY MIND keeps going back to how intense sex was etc, how meaningful and right it felt, and how close we were, i dont regret it at all, i just miss what we had and that was a way of knowing how deep it was. get me ?Why do i feel like this ? please help - heartbreak after breakup?
THIS WILL PASS, DARLING. Don't worry. Hang in there... There's always a rainbow after the rain.


I know you will think that you'll never get over your ex because your mind would go back to the great sex you had with him and all. I know that it was very meaningful to you given the fact that you gave your valuable purity to him, but you have to know that maybe he was just not meant for you. Everything happens for a reason. There are a lot of things that could help you get over him in no time. Try to distract you mind with new approaches. Maybe a rebound guy is too new for you, or you're just not ready yet. How about hanging out and chilling with your girlfriends %26amp; family? Have fun and don't spend your days in your room thinking how you and him could have been now. You have to stop that sooner or later. The right man for you is out there somewhere. It will just take a little more time for you to realize that. Be strong, girl.Why do i feel like this ? please help - heartbreak after breakup?
Because you were in love with him. You loved him and it HURTS to lose that. Especially. ESPECIALLY. since you lost your virginity to him. That always deeply connects you to a person.





These love stories are the saddest. I am going through one right now.





I'm sorry, I wish I could tell you of something that would relieve the pain.
I lol'd at he was 20 and your 17. Why does that happen so much? Makes me sad.


Anyway what you are feeling is attachment. I can tell he was your first big fall, that you really really liked. It does happen to everyone but not often. Chances are out of all the filth you're used to he was a gold puzzle piece that just didn't fit right. So he was good and all that, but you have to get over him and find the next one.
You were starting to get used to him and when you lose someone that you've did a lot with, you start missing them bunches. It just happened to me the other day. And the only thing you can do is think about all the bad things that happened and try your best to not think about the good times because if you do, it makes it 10 times worse. I wish you luck :
|Don't you notice?


After tht guy said, i guess, flowery stuff to u, and after commiting such thing, u broke up (or *he left u?) It just sounds lyk a game tht tht person played on u, just for his desire..


u no, iv herd alot of girls in the same situation as u, and they all ended up the same.. or were dumped in the same way after commiting the thing u were talking bout..





u no, girls don recognize to these kinds of things as much.. they r naive to themselves, thts why they let these things happen to them, humiliating themselves, and hurt themselves in the end... its usually always women or girls.. well there shudnt be usually but, its always girls side to get tricked and dumped and hurt a lot.. the boyz don care, theyre in fact satisfied bcuz they had their desires fulfilled.. and its up to u whether u want to wake up to the fact tht its true and look more around of ur friends or other girls out there and stop it for urself, or just ignore this messege and get hurt all the time with just.. in the end having to think tht tht was all meaningless.. but sister, plz think more carefully for youself... u can contact me directly if ud lyk, im always open :)
you will find another guy love :) and you will forget him eventually.





i know you dont want to hear it but these things take time. focus on you're hobbies or school. forget about guys for a bit :)





and when you do find another guy make sure he is the one (if you get this sensitive over sex) before you jump into bed with him :)

How did you deal with your first real breakup?

im 17 years old and ive been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half, he was my first boyfriend and we broke up about a week ago, he changed, isnt the same person he was in the beginning and i was tired of dealing with it, so i was forced to break up with him because i didnt want to be put through his crap anymore....


ive been so good and hiding my emotions but as our friends start finding out it gets harder... im so heartbroken and i cry so much when im alone cause i just cant believe after everything we've been through he could be so careless of me and stop loving me


it hurts so badd and i need to know how you coped with it??


how you got through it? it feels impossible to get over.


i feel terrible


How did you deal with your first real breakup?
it hurts when you break up. you have lost a big part of your daily life. You will get over this and it will make you strong. Try to think about what was good and take that with you to the next relationship. It is great that you know what you want and not to settle for anything less. Feel better.How did you deal with your first real breakup?
I didn't handle it real well. I just got depressed, moped around the house and cried a lot.


I wrote some poetry about it, but the poetry really sucked.


After a few months I started viewing girls I met as ';possibilities'; and suddenly everything was okay.



Hey im 15 and i delt with mine first break up with taking my mine off of my girlfriend. I figured i had to move on. there is someone out there for everyone so i figured she wasnt the one. I did things i like to do and talked it over with some close friends. but i got over it and u will too so hang in there ok. i wish u the best!
will i had my first b friend when i went to vacations at mexico it turn out thet he is my 3rd cousin i broke up with him after i knew he was my cousin i didn't care i just call my cousin to tell him it is over
Well its going to be hard for a while but just try not to be alone and spend time with friends. That's will make you not think of him. Plus there's always more guys! :0)
that life


life isn't fare get used to that


plus ur young yull find someone else hes a jerk


nd u should never cry over guys it wont do nothing it just makes u look stupid
Iam also 17 and im still dealing with my first boyfriend...They change my boyfriend has chaged he is carless of my thoughts and often is mean to me..I do cry often and im depressed always..and a word of advice be so thankful that u got out of your sistuation cause they wont change back to who they are in the begging! Dont go back to him thats the biggest mistake take it from someone who knows. U should try and date other people and who knows in the end maybe something good will come out of you and your ex. Or then agin you could find someone who will mean much more to you and treat you the way you need to be treated.

How to cope with break up?

i have been the shoulders for many people during there breakups i cannot believe one day this will happen to me. my ex and i had been together for almost three years. from the get go i knew we are too different but he convinced me that he wasn't what i and his friends thought he was. we dated and moved in together. fights started a few months later about insensitivities and inconsiderations. but we managed to talked through them and figured out ways to try to avoid feelings being hurt and etc. long story short, we got a house together beginning of the year. at the same time i also quit my well paying job to school full time. we agreed that he will take care of the finance until i get my degree which is summer next year. things started going down hill after that. he started going out and do things without me. we hardly talked. last week labor weekend he broke up with me claiming that he couldn't be himself when he is with. my problem is what is himself. i was an open book when i got with him. he on the other hand put on a mask and toward the end the mask fell off. he demands time to himself and his friends. he thinks my demand to be treated a little better than his friends is unreasonable and blah blah blah. i was stunned. he dismissed me just like that. he asked me to make a list of things i will take and a date of when i am going to be moving out. i asked him what about all the decisions that we made together that ultimately alters my life. he left me without job, income, and place to live. well to be fair he said that if i need money go get a job and i do have a roof at my mom's. at the worst possible point of the relationship he was calm and collective. he asks me to sign over the deed of the house. i almost did but my family came to my rescue. they take me in and help me see what a piece of work he is. besides the legality of property and such...almost three year relationship is hard to get over. anyone has any advice? i read bunch of stuff online about pampering myself and such but i have no money to do so. anyone know of any group or association that i could join and get my mind off of things. i am at the point of going to depression but i am so close to getting my degree. i hate to waste all the efforts that i put into it but it is so hard to study and enjoy my year of internship...please help!!!!!!!!!How to cope with break up?
You had mentioned in the beginning of this that you had been there for others. I say call up your girlfriends and guyfriends and movie nights. Have everyone bring a snack or drink. You could also have game nights have everyone bring their favorite games. If you guys are open to making fools out of yourselves there is a great game called


Hilarium. (sp?).





My roomate and I are both in college and not well off as well and these seem to be the best things for price and fun. Since thanksgiving is coming up too another thing is you can have a friends get together for that too and have everyone bring something. Same with Christmas. Holidays can be the worst so it helps to have friends near by. Granted you do not have to do these ON the actual holiday but around it.





The whole story sounds horrible. I am sorry you had to go through that. But whatever you do try not to let him ruin the rest of your life...again. What I mean is make sure you focus on school you are almost done. Whenever you feel like you are dealing with too much take a bath. You don't have to go to a spa to relax.





I hope this helps. Good luckHow to cope with break up?
always keep in mind that they do not deserve you....





you are meant for someone you just hvnt seen him yet.....
Your still in School and there will be plenty of guys for you. Relationships are hard and if he can't accept what your doing to try to better yourself than he wasn't worth it to begin with. Hod your head up high and don't let him bother you even if you see him on the street somewhere. Smile and move on.





I've been there and I know it's painful but you will get through it





Good luck
me and my boyfriend broke up to after 3 years it was hard but you need to just get over it go out with your friends have funn to stuff you never got to do when you were with him.me and my boyfriend got back together maybe you will too.and yess you should be treated way better than any of his friends.

Has anyone ever had a relationship end because of someone else interfering, thus causing it to end?

Any advice on how to cope?


(In my case, she was flirting with him three days before the break-up.) And denies it all to me (the guy) at the breakup.) And I didn't know until the day after. also, they went out two days after, our breakup. and it seems like its going strong for two months. do you guys think it's going to end?Has anyone ever had a relationship end because of someone else interfering, thus causing it to end?
You never know with these things. But im sure if you move on she will probably be jealous.Has anyone ever had a relationship end because of someone else interfering, thus causing it to end?
Ya.. It may. Coz., she may get another guy and she can leave this guy na.,

How do I deal with this breakup?

Hi there, I hope someone can help me, I met a fantastic guy about a year ago and we have been hopelessy in love ever since. Im 40 years old and have never in my life felt so loved, respected and happy. The guy involved is Italian and has two children that moved to Italy with his ex some 6 months ago. He has been visiting every month or so, but not as often as he liked due to work / money problems. We had an argument a few weeks ago and booked a one way flight back to Italy telling me that I was the only thing that had kept him here. We made up before he left and he told me that he would be back as soon as he could sort out his finances (a month or so) He rang me every day for the first week or so and he was seriosuly unhappy as the ex had not been coping to good with his boys, and he was worried about leaving them again, on Monday he rang me and basically told me that although I am the love of his life he cannot come back as the kids need him too much, I am devastedHow do I deal with this breakup?
I wouldn't follow Kc idea to become a stalker. How do you feel about moving over there? He sounds honest enough, I doubt he could bring the children out of the country if the mother still lives there, and so I don't think he is just feeding you a line, so you have to decide what is more important, him, or the rest of your life? Family, friends etc... Then if you think you could make the move, contact him and suggest it.





If not, or if he doesn't come across as overjoyed by the suggestion, then I'm sorry, but you just have the long hard road to getting over it to walk down, and there is no real advice, other than you're not the only person making that walk, but we all get by in the end.How do I deal with this breakup?
Could you take a few days holiday from work? Then you should go and have a look at what is happening. I wouldn't say that I was coming, just book your hotel room, and make sure you have his address and all that and go and see for yourself.


You can either wait, let go, or get all the facts before you make a decision. Who knows, you might want to live in Italy! Good luck!xxx
Offer to move to Italy to be with him and see what his response is. Even if you couldn't possibly go it'll give you an insight as to how he really feels. Based on what you've typed I think there's something fishy going on, are you sure his ex is really his ex and there isn't still something more between them? Even if the truth isn't what you'd hoped for then at least you can get on with your life knowing it's really over.
sorry to hear this but as you know life goes on and you must get over this so be strong for your own sake and forget himas he has gone back to his wife
Whether he is lying or not doesn't really matter. He has decided he doesn't want to be with you and you need to accept that and get on with your life.


Don't be bitter, but take the attitude, 'a well it was good while it lasted.'


That way you can put it down to experience and get on with your life.
I know this is hard for you (if you really are the love of his life) but his children do need him. He (if he is being honest) sounds very responsible.


I would try to talk him into returning with his children. If he really loves you, he will try to find a way to do that instead of making excuses as to why he can't.


If he suggests ways: he's telling the truth.


If he says he can't leave and gives you a list of reasons: he's lying to you.
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  • Friend casting doubt on my relationship to make herself feel better after a nasty breakup--how to handle?

    I have a friend, L, living abroad. Few months ago, I was visiting her and met a guy, B. We spoke frequently over email, and on my return saw a lot of each other. We both see the potential for love and future, especially since I happen to be studying abroad not far from him next year. The friend I have to thank for my meeting him just broke up with her boyfriend as I was on my flight back. I've spent a lot of time consoling her; I'm her friend and I'm glad to help, but her ways of coping are hurtful. B was a flirt and a playboy. He told me this straight out and that he has no interest in doing it anymore because he respects me. I trust him. L seems to delight in bringing it up, disguised as concern that I'll be hurt, offering to keep her eye on him while I'm at home. I find it hurtful that she brings it up, as if making sure I know that while her love life isn't great, mine is worse. I'm getting sick of talking to her b/c she has nothing to say, and I was wondering if anyone had advice?Friend casting doubt on my relationship to make herself feel better after a nasty breakup--how to handle?
    She obviously doesn't sound like a true friend. He seems unsure of himself as well. Get on with your life, meet new friends and Im sure the right guy will come a long for you. You don't need friends like that in your life.

    Still in love with exgirlfriend but shes moved on. How do I cope? What can I do?

    My ex girlfriend dumped me 4 months ago. Within 2 weeks she was back with her ex boyfriend who she was in a 2 year relationship with before me. We were together for 7 months. When i heard this i poured my heart out to her in texts bc she wouldnt talk to me on the phone. She just responded that our love was puppy love. And she really never loved me. She said she regretted even telling me these things bc it was awkward. When we were together we always had fun. We loved eachother and told eachother it often. We talked about our future together and how we will travel and what will our first sons name would be. I was dead set on her being my wife in the future. She was perfect. I am very picky she is only my second serious girlfriend. I even moved to be closer to her a few states and changed careers...thats how strong i felt for her. I was so secure in that she loved me. Then she started to become distant. Not saying i love you back. And not wanting to hang out as much. And I asked her if she wanted out of the relationship and she said yes. She told me she didnt want a serious relationship. Its not you its me. And I was like i dont understand. And she was like I need to do this for me. Well she broke up with her ex boyfriend she got back with. And guess what 2 weeks later she was with this other guy. Who was textn her while we were dating. She broke up with him and I took the opportunity to ask her to go to lunch. But she couldnt bc of school and she didnt offer to reschedule. Well she got back with the guy. And she would text me out of the blue askin me what i was doing. This made me think she missed me. Well she got wind of this other girl in my life on facebook. And asked me who she was. I told her that I still had feelings for her and missed her. She told me it was bad timing and that someone else was making her happy. She told me to date this other girl and take care of her. She told me that she will remember all the beautiful memories we had and would measure other guys up to how i spoiled her. I told her that I feel like its a shame that we are letting what was between us go. And I told her all my feelings for her, and asked if she missed me or had feelings for me. And she responded with IDK what to say other than im happy. So then i told her not to text me and to please stay out of my life so I can move on. I told her that she obviously doesnt have feelings for me or she wouldnt chose this guy she knew for a month over someone who cared for her for 7. Well its been a week and i havent heard from her. Also I deleted her from facebok and myspace b/c i used to always check them. And when i saw she was having fun without me it hurt like hell. Anyways now I am in a new state with no job, not as many friends, and missing the girl i wanted to marry. Everything has been affected by her leaving. I dont even really have the self confidence i used to with girls. I just dont know how to get over this. I wish another girl would just come into my life and make me forget about my ex. It just hurts thinkin about my ex with this new guy and being happy while im hurting. I go to clubs and bars trying to meet someone and its not working. I am lonely and depressed. Its so unfair that she can breakup with me and be with someone 2 weeks later. Please if anyone has any advice on how to get on with my life? How to ease the pain of my ex's memory? Advice on how to get my confidence back and meet new girls? Sorry this was long. I just have a lot on my mind. thanks.Still in love with exgirlfriend but shes moved on. How do I cope? What can I do?
    The more you think about her, the deeper the hole you dig for yourself. At this time, your highest priority is to rebuild your life: go back to school or find a job. Concentrate on rebuilding your life. Once you are on your own feet again with a job, you will be busy and will not have time to torture yourself, and everything else will fall in place.





    Ten years from now, you will look back and see that this whole thing is just a bump on the road. You still need to keep your eyes on the destination. It is easier said than done, but unfortunately that is the only most healthy and logical way to get out of a mess. You want so show your ex that you are strong and leaving you is HER mistake.





    By all means, do not rush into another relationship in thinking it will help. What if you get dumped again? Good luck.Still in love with exgirlfriend but shes moved on. How do I cope? What can I do?
    you need to redirect your thinking....





    If she was ';perfect'; for you.. she would be with you and not the ex.





    Time will heal- as hard as it is- you just need to move on.





    You will find your perfect one and now you are that much closer =)
    Her being back with her ex within 2 weeks would be all I need to get over her...Move on and don't just remember the good times. TIME will heal ...
    Keep yourself busy! She is not going to help your heartache now so do not contact her for support. Go swimming , walking, .... talk to sypathetic people who are willing to listen to you. Live people, strangers even! There are kind people everywhere. You were used for her own emotional benifit no matter the cost to you, that was wrong selfish and mean to do. Take my advice!
    Quit feeling sorry for yourself, she was never over her ex, therefore the entire relationship was bullshit. She is just not worth getting this upset over. Blaming your self confindence on that is just crap talk. She was never over the guy, you were a rebound, you can never take that personally. Believe me you will feel this way again, but it will be reciprocated, then you will understand. Advice for the future, never date someone who just got out of a serious relationship, UNLESS, you want to be the rebound guy.

    My ex-girlfriend is sleeping with somebody else already. How do I cope?

    My ex of 2 years dumped me about 6 weeks ago and told me that she just didn't have the energy to try to make our relationship work anymore. She also pretty much outlined everything that is wrong with me, and everything I had done wrong in the last 6 months, without taking any of the blame herself. This made me feel horrible, because I was (and still am, unfortunately) in love with her. We did have a few bad fights a while ago, which I feel so guilty about now. Anyway, I had to move out of our place together, because we shared it with her girlfriend, so I was essentially kicked out. To make matters worse, I had to pay a month's rent after I moved out because my name was on the lease. Needless to say, I am completely humiliated and heartbroken. She told me that she didn't want to see anybody else, she just needed to be alone for a while. She said that maybe she's just too young and is going through a selfish phase.





    I've been seriously hurting for these past 6 weeks, and I had to move back into my parents house. I defriended her on facebook, but she tagged a bunch of photos with our mutual friend in them, so I caved in and looked, and she is hanging on, and kissing up on this guy in a club. Also my friend told me that they are pretty much hooking up. I just feel devastated, like I didn't matter to her at all, and she can move on that quickly. I don't get it, our relationship was amazing for over a year and a half, and she used to talk about marriage and kids, and the whole nine. I got dumped, got kicked out of her place, and have been suffering since, and she just seems happy and fine, and is now sleeping with some other dude already. Does anybody have any advice on how to deal with this? I know I should just get over her already, because maybe she showed her true colors since the breakup, but I just feel stuck and so hurt by this. Sorry to ramble, thanks for reading.My ex-girlfriend is sleeping with somebody else already. How do I cope?
    Your ex thought that you weren’t good enough for her little sassy self, obviously she thinks she’s hot so she knows she can get any guy she wants, the guy she is “sleeping with now” will not last, she will either move on back to you, or move on to another man. The thing is, if she comes back to you, YOU HAVE TO REJECT HER! I mean she will just keep breaking your heart, over and over. Trust me I know. You do need to move on…your right those are her “true colors”. And I fell sorry for your Ex, she is obviously loosing a great guy.My ex-girlfriend is sleeping with somebody else already. How do I cope?
    B1tches are like that...one of my friends is going through this too...is BS thats why i dont get in love with girls, just try to find a new one to have fun just dont get in love
    if she,s your ex then she can sleep with whoever she wants to. the same way with you. once you 2 broke up then both of you are free.
    Dude $h*t happens. It sucks what happened to you, but you need to suck it up and move on.


    Keep yourself crazy busy, maybe try something new. Go out with the boys and meet some new girls.


    Don't wallow in a cesspool of darkness and despair. Get on a boat and sail right throught the MF!





    Good luck!

    Help! I NEED A GUYS PERSPECTIVE. How can my ex boyfriend breakup with me if he still cares for me so much?

    Please bear with me here. I'm 18 years old and just graduated high school last spring (class of '09). I loved high school for the most part and what surprised everyone (and even myself) was when I started dating my friend who I've had a crush on since he was a freshmen. Problem is, while we're one year apart age wise. We're two years apart grade wise (When he was a sophomore, I was a senior). We always flirted and he really fell for me hard, I always liked him but I was afraid because he was younger. I never made a move on him and the tables turned last winter when he made a move on me at my last winter formal dance. I had an amazing time and he ended up going in for a kiss and kissing me. Everyone was shocked because I didn't date any guys in high school. I don't yearn for flings as much as real relationships. Regardless to say, he knocked me off my feet and even though I was about to graduate and he was a sophomore we started dating and I was the happiest I'd ever been in my life. I'm going to community college so I live nearby. But after summer ended things started to change. He broke up with me once in September of last year for no real reason. He said he just wanted space. We both cried and I was a wreck. I'd never had a real first love/first boyfriend/first sex before and didn't know how to cope with losing him. I gave him some space but eventually fought for him back and we got back together less than a month later. We shared some really good memories and laughs and I can honestly say he was my bestfriend. I could go on and on about the things he's done for me to show how much he cares and respects me. But out of the blue he dumped me again several weeks ago. He just said he didn't want to be in a relationship anymore. But it was nothing I did wrong. This time around I stopped talking to him for the most part even though it still pains me. I feel like a part of me died and he says he would take a bullet for me anyday and that he still thinks about me everyday. He says he's really messed up and confused and just needs to figure who he is. He said he felt like we were in a little marriage and already starting to solve problems and things were getting to routine and boring. He says he wants to remain friends after I get over him but I don't know if I can ever see him in that light ever again. I miss him everyday and love him so much it hurts. I can't stand to see him party and do stupid stuff since I've been there and done that and eventually you realize it's not all that it cracked up to be... Idk what to do. Is it stupid to wait? If he misses me and cares for me so much why did he break up with me? Do you think when he matures more that he'll realize what he had?Help! I NEED A GUYS PERSPECTIVE. How can my ex boyfriend breakup with me if he still cares for me so much?
    the ';things are getting too routine and boring'; line is straight BS. He's seein someone else n you need to find someone worth you as well. He's immature. I'm 25, I'm a guy I know these things. My ex felt the same way, always needed action and excitement to stimulate her, all it boils down to is they're not happy with their life for whatever reason, and they need SOMEONE ELSE to live it for them and be their partner in crime cuz they can't do it themselves. They have a hard time accepting life and what it entails. They have no sense of loyalty and passion, they just seek stimulation. I hope as much as you do that they can grow up one day, but don't put yourself in a position to get hurt for it, they'll most likely hate you for trying to ';be controlling';. You seem like a mature girl, just don't fall for the players hun, you'll find a perfect match, and never lower your standards.Help! I NEED A GUYS PERSPECTIVE. How can my ex boyfriend breakup with me if he still cares for me so much?
    He might want space because he's not sure if you're the girl he wants to be with because some people hate wasting time in relationships. Or mabye he's not sure if he's gay or not.


    I don't know

    How to go about things in regards to a breakup?

    Hello,





    I am not too sure if any of you have read my one posting in regards to ';When is enough enough'; but I am at that time now, where I feel I've had enough within this relationship I am in, and I need help.





    I have never been the one to end a relationship, and I am struggling more than anything right now. I am so upset, frustrated, confused and can't even begin to tell you how much pain and loss I am feeling. I am pretty much a disaster today. Tears flowing and just not knowing what to do or how to go about things.





    Last night, this guy (don't know what to call him anymore) and I had another fight, and it was pretty much one sided (he was the only one talking) Anyways, awful, cruel things were stated to me and about me, and although I've heard all of these things before, I don't want the pattern to continue, so I feel I should leave and for good.





    Now I have tried in the past, but I've never stuck to it. How do I? And how do I continue the loving relationship I have with this guys parents and extended family? The mom just today wrote me an email and said that I was special to her, and she was happy that am in her sons and her life, and that she loves me very much. She is not aware of the problems that are happening and have been happening for a while. It's best to not say anything, because yes some tend to not want to know, you know? The blind eye.





    I really like the mom, and have grown close to her. I don't just want to cut things off, but when you end things with the son, that's bad to keep in contact isn't it? I've been told, that the mom will always side with the son. What do I do? I've tried to tell the mom certain things before, but she is kind of the person that doesn't want to hear it. You know, if it's not stated, it's better and not happening. She's a dear person, but this is the only thing that bugs me about her.





    And I am hurting extremely bad in regards to this guy. I just don't understand him, and I don't know how anyone could be so down right rude and cruel. I still love him, and I don't want to say bye. I know I have to, but I am struggling because I don't know how.





    Please anyone if you've been through this, how did you cope? What did you do? How do you let the guilt go? How do you know you are making the right choice? I am scared, sad, teary eyed, and still with everything I am love this guy. I know it's stupid, but I do. I have been with him going on 6 years.





    ThanksHow to go about things in regards to a breakup?
    somtimes we don;t feel NEEDED Loved or wanted enuff
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  • How do I help a friend deal with a breakup from her boyfriend?

    I have a lady friend who just broke up with her boyfriend and it looks to me like she is having a hard time dealing with it. I would like to help her get over the grief and let her know that I am there for her anytime she needs say a shoulder to cry on or to talk to. I don't know what to say to her.


    I want her to feel comfortable talking to me and I want to feel the same way around her because I think I like her more than a friend.





    I want to help her cope with it as much as I can. I want to try to get her to be friends with me. I have a list of songs i would like to put on a mix CD, maybe send her poems in a card along with my cell phone number and e-mail address to contact me anytime, or a yellow rose to let her know that I am thinking of her as a friend and at some point to get her to be my girlfriend. I don't want to push the issue right now.





    Here's the list of songs that I have for a mix CD, I would like to know if these are good songs.


    Joe Cocker's version of The Beatles song With a Little Help from My Friends.


    You've Got a Friend by James Taylor


    Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon %26amp; Garfunkel


    You're my Best Friend and Friends Will Be Friends by Queen


    Come Together by The Beatles or Aerosmith's cover


    Lean On Me by Bill Withers


    Stand By Me by Ben E. King


    and Don't Cry by Guns N' Roses





    Some of the songs that I have listed I already have on CD and some of them I have to buy from iTunes which is no big deal.How do I help a friend deal with a breakup from her boyfriend?
    Um here's a girl's opinion. If a guy who isn't my friend gives my a random cd of friendship songs I would think he is a creep. That is not the way to approach a girl. Especially not with a rose. If she is really that hurt from the breakup, then she only wants that one guy. She isn't thinking of a rebound at this point. U need to start by being friends with her and wait till u think she is over it to tell her u like her. And to start being friends, u don't give someone a cd. u start a conversation and go on from there with hanging out and stuff.How do I help a friend deal with a breakup from her boyfriend?
    Give her some time to think and when you think shes ready ask her.
    Aww you are too cute!, just be patient with her as she may not be ready to start dating. If you really mean it that you want to be her friend then go into this knowing that, just don't get mad at her if she does not reciprocate the feelings you are having towards her.





    She is going to need time to heal from this old relationship and it is almost never good to be the rebound guy, you can be her friend but if you are going into this with an ulterior motive you might be the one that ends up crying, just proceed with caution.





    Good luck!
    Ok, look she just broke up with her boyfriend so give her time to get over him. If you become that friend that help her through this you will not become her boyfriend later. You also need to back off because that could be annoying when someone is trying too hard. So be their but not all the time. Also you don't want to become the rebound guy those relationship never work. Oh and the cd dude that is corny, I wouldn't do it. When a woman heart is hurting she don't want to hear any sappy songs.

    How to go about things in regards to a breakup?

    Hello,





    I am not too sure if any of you have read my one posting in regards to ';When is enough enough'; but I am at that time now, where I feel I've had enough within this relationship I am in, and I need help.





    I have never been the one to end a relationship, and I am struggling more than anything right now. I am so upset, frustrated, confused and can't even begin to tell you how much pain and loss I am feeling. I am pretty much a disaster today. Tears flowing and just not knowing what to do or how to go about things.





    Last night, this guy (don't know what to call him anymore) and I had another fight, and it was pretty much one sided (he was the only one talking) Anyways, awful, cruel things were stated to me and about me, and although I've heard all of these things before, I don't want the pattern to continue, so I feel I should leave and for good.





    Now I have tried in the past, but I've never stuck to it. How do I? And how do I continue the loving relationship I have with this guys parents and extended family? The mom just today wrote me an email and said that I was special to her, and she was happy that am in her sons and her life, and that she loves me very much. She is not aware of the problems that are happening and have been happening for a while. It's best to not say anything, because yes some tend to not want to know, you know? The blind eye.





    I really like the mom, and have grown close to her. I don't just want to cut things off, but when you end things with the son, that's bad to keep in contact isn't it? I've been told, that the mom will always side with the son. What do I do? I've tried to tell the mom certain things before, but she is kind of the person that doesn't want to hear it. You know, if it's not stated, it's better and not happening. She's a dear person, but this is the only thing that bugs me about her.





    And I am hurting extremely bad in regards to this guy. I just don't understand him, and I don't know how anyone could be so down right rude and cruel. I still love him, and I don't want to say bye. I know I have to, but I am struggling because I don't know how.





    Please anyone if you've been through this, how did you cope? What did you do? How do you let the guilt go? How do you know you are making the right choice? I am scared, sad, teary eyed, and still with everything I am love this guy. I know it's stupid, but I do. I have been with him going on 6 years.





    ThanksHow to go about things in regards to a breakup?
    i breiefly read your story...its gonna be hard but you have to end it...you have to completely cut him off...no communication of any sort...and i understand how you feel about the family..i was in a relationship and i was best friends with his sister and his mom loved me and i loved them...you can always keep in touch with them but for now you need to let everything go. Dont feel guilty either cause your doing both of you a favor by ending something that is not meant to be and someday youll find someone who treats you like a princess..good luck with everything and i wish you the best

    How do I deal with a long-term relationship, breakup? It's KILLING ME!?

    Just come out of a 4 year relationship, because she didn't want to continue because she has lost that ';feeling for me';. When I go to bed, I can't sleep.. I just toss n' turn and have bad dreams and wake up even more upset.





    She now says that she is now unhappy in the relationship and... wants out.. She wanted me to be more romantic,spontaneous.. But I didn't know how to show it, or if she was being serious..





    I don't know what to do, we use to be best-friends since school...





    I can't imagine her dating, and doing ';STUFF'; with another person, it's really upsetting me thinking of this and I don't want to let go of her :(.





    We have always had talks and dreams about moving in together, having pets and everything...





    It's her birthday party on the 20th, should I still go ? (Meal with all of her friends, and my friends - mutual ). She also said it would be Awkward... :(..





    Help....





    She said -





    I cant help the way i feel... i dint want to lie to you and fake my feelings just so you will be happy... i want to be happy too and feel the same... but if i cant then what else can i do...things got to much for me and i couldn't cope... i'll never be able to forget how our relationship was at the beginning and all the times we argued and you lost your temper.. i can forgive.. but not forget... and that just all caught up.. i mean i use to burst into tears when you just shouted even when it wasn't at me... that's how scared i was i know your hurt... and i know you miss me... and im sorry that's all i can say... i just dont wanna lie to you and myself by faking and forcing the way i feel... cuz it will and did make me unhappy i really am sorry...





    I really wasn't that bad.. I did have a little bit of anger management during my teen years, but it is ok now.





    I cherished, loved,cared did almost everything for her.. Why is she doing this, and how can it be changed back!





    I see her almost everywhere, College and Work and on the internet (MSN) just looking at her name/pictures really does make me feel upset and remorseful of what happend... I really love her.





    Another thing is that I get on with her whole family, I don't want change :(..How do I deal with a long-term relationship, breakup? It's KILLING ME!?
    If your still best friends now then you wouldn't be so stressed out because you'd be BEST-MATES but not lovers because thats not what she wants right? you'd do anything for her right?How do I deal with a long-term relationship, breakup? It's KILLING ME!?
    i'm sorry u gg through this, i can feel ur heart pain, this pain i used to suffer b4 2 mths ago.





    i just as u, cannot do much.





    the only advice i can give u is ....u just gotta move on.





    time will heal , how long, we do not know.





    if u love her,let her go. mayb the timing nw isn't just right,





    if she meant to return, she's yours!





    take good care of urself!

    How can I deal with or resolve this breakup?

    I'm currently 20 yrs old, I have very little living relatives and nowhere to stay at the moment...


    I met my girlfriend almost 3 years ago after my mom died and began living with her almost immediately.


    She needs ';time to think';, which I have no problem with, but I had to move out and am trying to respect her wishes to not contact her for a week or so to clear her mind.


    Everything I do hurts, I don't have a stable home at the moment, I'm a college student and I work at night 5 days a week.


    I don't know where to go from here or what to do.


    It's been about 6 days and we've spoken every day, however she needs the time alone and I can't find a way to enjoy myself or the little bit I have left without her.


    There's no definite way to know if we're getting back together or not and I need some ways to cope with the worst :/


    Please help.How can I deal with or resolve this breakup?
    I am sorry about your family situation. Sometimes they are just what you need. I think that you need someone to talk to. I think that you might have used her as a safe line and actually need to get help without her. I suggest I counselor because I think you need to not let go but get over the bumps in your road. You have had a lot happen to you in not that long of a time frame. Perhaps you jumped into the relationship with her before you were really emotionally ready to take on the new step. I am sure that it helped at the time, but I think the real time has come to see who you are as a single human before making anymore life changing decisions. I am sure you will be fine it just might take some time.How can I deal with or resolve this breakup?
    Respect her ';no contact'; wish unless she is calling you.


    Try to focus on other parts of your life. The more contact you have, the harder it will be for you.


    Go to school, work your job and try to relax as much as possible.
    She's not going to want to be with someone whose name is








    ';Ted Brownhole.';








    Why not legally change your name to ';Ted Balloon Knot'; or ';Ted Hersheyhole'; or ';Ted Shittyslide'; or ';Ted Feces';?
    Hang in there, what happens happens. You will either get back together, or find someone else who wants to be with you. Keep in touch with her, so she knows you care. Just stay strong.
    Start by talking to people in charge of the dorms of your college. They might be able to swing you some temporary arrangement for cheap. Maybe there are some paid rooms that nobody's using anymore and that type of thing.





    With the girl you definitely have to bite the bullet and resist the tempation to talk to her. It's obvious you have completely smothered her with your needs, and that is unfair to say the least. The fact that you have no one to care for you is unfortunate, but it's not her fault so she shouldn't be burdened with it. If you can show that you can keep your distance when needed, she will probably take you back at some point. But you have to make sure it's on her initiative and not yours.





    The dorm environment would do you good because it should be easy to make friends and they always have a lot of activities going on to keep you busy. If that's not enough, try taking up a sport like karate or something. That not only takes up time and distracts you from life's problems, it also helps build character which will help a lot later on. It doesn't have to be karate. If you're not that athletic, then even something like chess would be good.

    Anybody tell me How I can cope with this?

    I had an experience today that made me reevaluate the things that really matter in my life, and i realized I am afraid of losing my ex. Makes no sense right? Well me and my ex had a bitter breakup about 6 months ago and have not contacted each other because he is extremely mad at me, and i have gave in to my ego plenty times trying to get things right. And i have been great ever since i though i let it go. I realized if he died tomorrow i would probably go into depression because we were friends for 4 years and bf and gf for 3 years we were best friends and today i balled in my car because i just dont want to leave this earth or him leave this earth angry its nonsense life is too short. I just wish i could call him but he wont answer. Its no use how can i get this out of my mind?Anybody tell me How I can cope with this?
    it may take him more time to get over the breakup...the best thing you can do is try to find another bf . at some point in the future maybe your ex will allow you to chat with him a bit if just to clear the air
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  • My sis is miserable due to a breakup and it's effecting me and relationship?

    I want her to be happy and do everything i can but she won't even follow up with doc appts. She is hugely depressed but this has been going on for a while. I do everything I can at the expense of the most part of my life. I am with someone I love but he's suffered greatly due to this. I have suffered for a long time and I don't even know how to cope anymore. She is the most negative person you'd ever meet and thinks that nobody can help her. Even advice goes out the window because she knows more. What should I do?My sis is miserable due to a breakup and it's effecting me and relationship?
    this is very difficult. do you have. do you have other family members around or people she cares about and they care lots for her? if so you might need to do an intervention, like for an addicted person but in her case to address the depression and the negativty. does she have kids? b/c a way to a womans heart and to make her change is through her child, most of the time anyways. other than that you might just have to let her be. tell her that she is making you very unhappy and you and she cannot spend as much time together if she keeps acting this way. is she suicidal or just a mean person? b/c some people are negative while others are depressed and she sounds just mean. most depressed people would rather hide from the world then go out and about and make others miserable. just tell her you can chat on the phone or have a 1 lunch once per week w/o your spouse and maybe she will get the hint.

    Do you have any advice for a breakup that is not final for sure?

    My boyfriend and I have decided to break up. I struggle with depression and have not been working which makes him feel responsible for me. While he is happy to do it he and I agree it is enabling. When we broke up before I slept with someone who I don't love to try to get over him. It hurt him so much even though we were not together. We want to take time apart so he can get over being hurt and so I can learn to be the healthiest, independant, centered me possible. He says that I am the love of his life and I feel that way about him. Neither of us had been in love before (I am 28, he is 32). However he says he can't see me while we are apart because it hurts him too much. I am clear that I will be focusing on getting my degree, and certainly not sleeping with anyone (it never makes me feel better and only hurts everyone involved). How do I cope with not seeing him? Is it foolish to hang on to the hope of being with him again? I really appreciate any insight, suggestions, or feedback!Do you have any advice for a breakup that is not final for sure?
    i know it could be pretty tough. seems like you guys have been through some rough ness. but thats all part of love.. u have to go through some bumps in the road to get to the happy road... id say this ';break up'; would be good for you guys. he can get his head clear and so can you. you need to focus on school and getting your degree. most definetly do not sleep with anyone. pretty sure you wont. im pretty sure if the love is true you guys will come back to a much better relationship then ever!!!! give him some space to think and get that degree.. cheer up think bout the positives. he loves you......good luck!!Do you have any advice for a breakup that is not final for sure?
    '; Never say goodbye when you still want to try !'; ....
    Don't break up. It sounds like the two of you will me miserable apart. Make an appointment to see someone for your depression. There are many new ways to treat depression, you may find just the thing you need to help this. Stay together for each other, but get that depression under control. You'll see the future will look brighter and better for the both of you, both of you TOGETHER. I wish you the best of luck.

    Need Advice after a Really Bad Breakup?

    Ok you guys....I need some seriouse advice and encouragement on how to ';get over'; a bad break up. My ex(also my baby's dad) and I are no longer together...we've had several problems for past 3 years...and i just really got sick of it. So we seperated and I refused to take him back..But if i know im doing the right thing...why does is hurt so bad? How can i cope with knowing that he and i will never be together again after several DESPERATE attempts to salvage the relationship?? I know that if i didnt have my daughter, i wouldnt feel like this...so what can i do? Im soul tied! Falling in love with someone who is not in love with you is a horrible, terrible, torturistic feeling :(Need Advice after a Really Bad Breakup?
    Hey Muffin! Hope you're not too devastated. At least now you're out of the torment. It's a time of adjustment to life without him for you now. Changes will always be tough in the beginning. Do talk to good counselors, reliable friends,pastors and get your mind busy with some meaningful activities %26amp; people .Get into support groups. Cry to feel better and allow time to heal the deep pain within.Remember you still have a child to invest your love in. Stay strong for her sake.This sorrow will not be forever.


    Take care..Need Advice after a Really Bad Breakup?
    Muffin, you mentioned that if you didn't have a child it be different. How so? You both have to set the same goals for the relationship. You both knew what it took to make it not work. Now, stop feeling guilty about the relationship not working, or being a victim and start living for the future. Make sure he does his part in taking care of your daughter and you start taking care of you.
    Dont be codependent. Stay strong and move forward. If he doesn't love you it will NOT work. The relationship will be one sided and that is not fair to you or him. You don't want him to feel obligated to stay with you and then he'll cheat it will be more devasting to you. Us women always want to work it out....not sure what is wrong with some of these men.


    So stay strong, stay focused, stay healthy for your childs sake.


    Take care.
    1. Calm down


    2. Wash my car


    3. Shine my shoes.





    There. Isn't that better?

    Could someone help me cope with my situation PLZ?

    I recently went thru a painful, MUTUAL breakup about 7 weeks ago. We are both good ppl, just not for each other (lack of ';spark';). Well, now, I feel so lost, invaluable and unworthy of all love. But I desperately wish there were someone here to comfort me and let me know there are OTHER good ppl out there.





    How can I get over this situation? We otherwise were a PERFECT (views, pasts, successes etc). I feel like I lost so much; but esp. my dignity, as I had worn my messed up emotions on my sleeve (I'm too honest!).





    I need confidence and the serenity to accept what happened w/out blaming it on my imperfection/self.





    HELP!?!?!? I'm all alone when it comes to this. I try to stay busy and talk to friends but I'm stuck in the past =[Could someone help me cope with my situation PLZ?
    What's done is done and it sounds like the spark just wasn't there...that happens. You are over-analyzing the situation and just need to move on. Relax and find a new man. You need to learn to please yourself and be confident. The right guy will come along.Could someone help me cope with my situation PLZ?
    you said so yourself....It was just the lack of spark....if you weren't right for each other - then sadly - you just weren't right for each other - its good you KNEW that - or found it out!!!





    There ARE plenty of fish in the sea....when you are ready - no rush





    A break up DOES knock the confidence....I don't know why...perhaps its because we trusted that person with our heart and soul....and now its no more - and its a wrench - of course we feel it!!





    We are also not going to feel at our confident best when we are feeling SAD





    You must just go through these emotions...I know its hard - but nearly everyone has had to deal with break ups at some point in their life...you DO recover , you DO get over it , and you DO learn from it....and come out the other end a STRONGER person!!!
    WoW... umm well look at some other girls? idk this is one problem idk about :( sorry
    Gather ur buddies, go out, %26amp; get hammered! %26amp; grow some balls!
    If you feel up to it try to go out on another date or just hang with friends
    try slap your self...maybe you will snap out of it
    don't be so hard on yourself. The two of you are mature enough to make a mutual decision on the break up. So, it's not your fault. If the break up was over your imperfections, he would have broken it off with you. It will take a little time, but be strong. I heard a preacher say one time, if your heart is with the lord for every bad thing that happens in your life he will make it up with 3x good. I believe this. who knows, you may find a b/f next week or next year...instead of a spark you may have a burning flame. So, keep your head up and and a good personality. good things will come your way. good luck
    Sounds like you both were EXACTLY the same and i believe that, that is why there may not have been a ';spark'; or it was lost... I've been with my Boy for almost four years now we are complete opposites... maybe find someone opposite to you? It's fun working each other out =)





    Instead of finding another partner find someone to be friends with =) They may keep your mind off everything... Who knows there might be a spark?
    Hind sight is always 20/20, you might think now you lost something but you knew then that it wouldn't work. How would it be different if you got back together? Just don't focus on having a relationship. There are still good people out there. I know that's hard to believe with all the hate in the world. But the right one will come along when you're ready...