Coping with long term relationship breakup?

My girlfriend and I broke up approx a month and a half ago after 5 years. I love her greatly and consider her a close friend, part of my family, and a large part of my life. She is a good person but has severe emotional issues which caused me to consistently be stressed out, and become very resentful. I feel that her and I have done immense damage to our relationship, and although I would love to continue a relationship with her it seems like it would be very difficult. She is extremely stubborn, aggressive, is very dishonest about stupid stuff and rarely gives me a chance to talk. I also have not been the greatest. I was very lazy in the relationship domestically and I feel that I did not put much effort into showing her I cared by cleaning up, cooking, or supporting her intrests even though they do not appeal to me, etc..





I am 22 this was my first big relationship, I was a virgin when I met her.. She is 26 and has had a few relationships prior.





Now even though I am the one that broke up with her, I am having a very hard time coping. She has told me that she is starting to date and has had sex with someone already.


I honestly feel the urge to be with her still, but know it would be better as friends but even that seems very difficult. After she told me she has had sex with someone I have not been able to sleep, or even eat very much for the past few days, and am throwing up/dry heaving when I think about it. I am having a really difficult time and was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to cope with the seperation and to move past the fact that she is having sex with someone else. I also am feeling that altough I hope that we are both able to mature and work out our differences and one day be together again I am feeling very disgusted that she has had sex with someone else and feel that I can never have sex with her or take her back because I feel she is disgusting and unclean now, I know she isnt but its just how I am feeling about it.Coping with long term relationship breakup?
I am going through a similiar situation...by bf and I broke up about a month ago, after 8 years. he was the one that wanted space, so thats a bit different to your situation...but I am experiencing the exact same symptoms as you are...eating, sleeping, panic attacks, etc...


Best thing is to have NO contact...try not even to be curious about what she is doing because that will only hurt you more...trust me. Take some time for yourself...it seems like you don't want to be with her anymore, you just are shocked that she has already moved on. Who knows where this will lead the both of you...maybe separation is what you need right now, and maybe you will end up together. For now, I think it's best if you take time for yourself.


Hope this helps.Coping with long term relationship breakup?
have sex with other people too.


it relieves stress and takes your mind off just about everything besides whats for dinner :)
they are right.. you are 22yrs old you should put yourself out there...





but if you really love her, and you really want to give it another shot... then your going to have to forgive her and forget all yours and hers' wrong doing. it wont be easy. but if it works out its worth it.





i honestly hope things do work out for you. best of luck :D
You need to cut off ties completely with this one. It seems like she gets an emotional rise from making you squirm.





The advice I'm about to give you may be upsetting, and I'm sure I'll get plenty of thumbs down, but honestly, you need to find someone else to sleep with without taking sex so seriously, just be responsible about it.





You're 22 and should be out there experiencing life, instead of vomiting over what could have been.
I know your going to hate this answer but here goes.





Time heals, look for things in your life that make you happy. Explore your interests and discover your passions in life. It has been my experience(I'm more than twice your age) that seeking happiness based on a relationship will always lead to let downs. People always at some point let down the ones they love.





But if you are a happy and whole person then you have things to share with someone. Don't get me wrong having a partner in life that you love is great. Just don't make that the one thing that makes you happy.





Good luck.
People break up for a reason. You sound like you are ready to move on but you are just not used to being on your own. Give it a month or so and go out with your friends. Pull girls...It will make you feel better about her sleeping with other people. You know that when you break up with somebody, they are going to sleep with other people. You just need to get out there yourself and forget about her. If you are made for each other then you wouldn't of been lazy in your relationship or broken up with her. Just go out and have fun. x